Friday, April 8, 2011

Happy Birthday to me!!

This Monday I celebrate my birthday. Don’t ask me which one. I won’t tell you because I myself have not come in terms with the number and it being on the really wrong side of 20’s is not helping either. It is on new year’s time and birthdays that one actually ponders over the big question.” What is the purpose of all this?” I mean, why do I exist even? The world might not become a better place without me; it definitely is not a great one with me as well. Then since it is your birthday you decide to be magnanimous, with a pat on the back conclude,” Off course to the world I might be one among them, but to some people I am the world”.
With my epic proportions I am capable of looking “the world” within five feet of anyone but then just how much does my life revolve around someone or someone’s life revolves around me? There has been a time when every single movement of mine was decided by someone. I had ditched books and music. I could actually wake up early to go for a walk. This is the nice part. But now I realize some women (me included) has this annoying habit of forgetting themselves in love. Giving up who you are is not exactly my perceived idea of love. Even when I was vocal about temporary-identity-loss-when-cupid-strikes, I myself was lost for a long time. For around a decade I have been in and out of love and all the while I have been a puppet.
After burning me in love I learnt the biggest lesson a girl should’ve known all the while,’ never, ever forget that you always need to find time for yourself and to live for yourself.”
Love is one thing; commitment is a totally different.Committing oneself to relation does not mean you need forfeit your passions or loves. If you have to redefine who you are for someone, think about it, is it worth all that? Someone might just love you for what you are.

So in the last “X” number of years I will summarize what I have learnt
  • Life is not at all fun. But then you got to live it
  • Nobody is completely euphoric. All of the smiling people you meet on road have problems, most probably bigger ones much more complicated than yours
  • Being in love is wonderful. Please put your feet firmly on the ground and make sure your head is available over your shoulder. Otherwise you will have to risk a lot of heart aches.
  • Your parents were and are always right. You got to give to their age. The only time they were wrong was when they said “Looks like 83 world cup is the only one India would ever!”
  • Pink, Purple, Red. I love them. But there are more colors to this world. (If you had met me in the first decade of my life you would’ve been convinced that I was blind to all colors except Red.)
  • Life is a full circle. What goes from you comes back to you. So keep away evil thought, words and actions.
  • Keep your Girlfriends close. Real close. No one rushes to you like them and no one can bitch like they can about your ex. That ring of friendship is your personal amulet against all the evil in the world.Guys; I don’t have any advices for you. For once I accept gritting, men handle bad relationships better than most women.

Of late, I despise the crooning girls in buses and the really loud giggles for attention. I glare at boys with jeans hanging on their bums. I shake my head when I see school girls with eyeliners and gloss. I wrinkle my nose at teenagers holding Valentines Day cards; shouldn’t they be enjoying life than worrying about tough things like love?

Then I giggled, not very loud though. I’ve been them. The girl of thirteen, trying out eyeliner and the pudgy teenager who giggled loudly in buses at the sight of cute boys. I had lived through that and survived. May be that is the way it should be. Experience , after all is not available on discount sale. You just got to pay for the damn thing.

P: S: I have asked him not to celebrate my birthday; I think with all the candles I won’t be able to see the cake. Worse I might get a panic attack. Whatever happened to graceful ageing and idolizing Nafisa Ali (I had said that when I was fifteen to my aunt. Cheriamma, please forgive my ignorance. Ageing is not easy for women. I understand and appreciate your efforts)
P: S: I am not personally shy of receiving gift/s. Please let me know, I’m ready to share the postal address.


  1. MMHROTD! Forget about the past you can't change it, forget about the future you can't predict it, and forget about the present I am not getting you one. LOL

  2. AWWWWWWW !! Happy Birthday in advance to you my girl!!! Very open and frank post you got thr.

  3. @Shiju:Thanks...hehehehe..
    @Red Handed:Thank you for the wishes..Cyber space is all about candidness

  4. awwww...birthday wishes to you! :)

    we women should have the right to stay as old (r as young) as we want to..sigh!!

    anyhoo, i loved the list of realisations & i totally agree with every one of them..

  5. cathartic post!
    happy birthday! have a great one!!

  6. "Experience , after all is not available on discount sale. You just got to pay for the damn thing." That's some profound statement, lady. :)

    Love, most of the times, is a highly overrated emotion. People do all sorts of crazy things and then take the excuse of love. My ex, while we were still together, called me beautiful and witty and special, and after I broke up with him, overnight I became ugly and ordinary and materialistic. :) After that, one of the biggest lessons I learnt is, nothing in this world is permanent. Love may turn to hate, beautiful may turn ugly, special will become ordinary. But I don't regret being in love or being in that relationship. While it lasted, it was great. And when it ended, it left me with lasting lessons.
    I would recommend it to everyone. Be in love and lose yourself at least once in your life. It's a whacky feeling! :)
    And happy b'day in advance, my girl! :) I can understand your emotion. Every birthday, when i get slightly depressed that I'm a year older, I want to punch all those people in the face who say "Age is just a number". If it was, then why don't we get to pick our own number??!! :(

  7. Trying hard to stifle a smile @ it being on the really wrong side of 20’s is not helping either.

    But letting go, losing sense of self, feeling giddy with unfamiliar emotions - isn't this what being in love is all about?

  8. Happy Bday, all that matters is which cake you want to have!

  9. Advance birthday wishes.

    I trust that with all the experience - "Blue Lotus" would bloom even fuller!!

  10. @Geetha:Thank you dear...
    @Pri:Thank You for the wishes..I don't like the candle stuff on cakes..:D

  11. @Magic Eye:Thank you..I like your monochromes of mumbai..I get a feeling they will someday find their way to a photo book on mumbaiscapes..

  12. @Divya:Age is nothing but a number.Pure maths.?Incremental by 1 ever year.I couldn't care less.Sniff Snort.
    Between I haven't asked my ex what he thinks about me :D.I guess bad relations make us stronger and smarter.

  13. @Purba: :D..Being in love is wonderful.But trust me if you know what all nonsense I did in the name of love,you'll whack me with your teachers cane.But then the good part is now I know to value the people in my life better.

  14. @Pooja:Thanks a lot.I love chocolate cakes.I hope "he-the man" remembers..
    @Vyankatesh:Thanks a lot.I hope I do rather than wilt...:D

  15. Hey
    Happy birthday. And dont feel bad- I am 32!!!! a 16 year old is literally half my age!
    Yes, I agree with you about 'falling and losing' yourself in love. I have done that too, not that it ended bad, but I lost myself. Despite gaining a hubby, it wasnt a very good experience. Kudos to you for being brave enough to accept it and spread the word. But dont worry, none of the love-hungry teens will listen to us until its too late.

  16. Love! Ah ... Let me go into a flashback. Falling in love, getting hurt, again falling in love , again getting hurt till I found my love that did not hurt. Looking back, I can smile at all those idiotic, theatrical things I had done :)

    And ya now that am into 30's and looking at the young teeny loves around, I smile again. Love has to be lived and felt with all those theatrical and idiotic actions we do when in love.

    Happy Birthday! Have a wonderful year ahead :)

  17. @ConfusedYuppie:Thanks for the wish..Totally agree.Let's let the teens be..they just have to learn it their way..
    @Lakshmi Rajan:It is good you are having a good laugh..Love brings out the idiot in one times..Thanks for the wishes...

  18. Belated wishes dear fellow blogger.

  19. Thanks Victor for the wishes...

  20. Wish you many happy returns of the day more than a week late. Sorry for the delay. I am still trying to catch up with lots of things.

    And believe me, it is a happy day even when you are not ready to accept that you are a year older. Think of ten years hence. Then this will be your happy day, won't it? Life is completely relative. Once you realise that, you are on the way to happiness.

  21. Thanks Akka..Actually yeah..but 10 years ago I was waiting to grow older..Ironic eh..

  22. I'm twenty and constantly being called 14 ! So I sometimes wish to FLAUNT the number of candles on my birthday cake, unlike you do ;)
    BTW, of all the wonderful lessons life has taught you in the x number of years, the best one s keeping your girlfriends closer to bitch about your ex :P we SO need that !!

    Hope you had a wonderful Birthday.
    Defiant Princess
    your new follower <3

  23. Thank you Princess for the wishes..Even I wanted to flaunt the candles when I was 22.One ticket guy refused a friend n me tickets to "Woh Lamhe".It was 18 and above.We displayed our work-id cards for the tickets.
    If you want to bitch about ex or current,call up your GF's..Nothing is more stimulating..:D
    Thanks for following the ramblings..

  24. Blue Lotus .... belated birthday wishes. But more importantly .... WHAT A WHOPPING POST, dudette!! chin up, gurl!!

  25. Thank you Meena for the made my day..

  26. i really like the way post read...
    its not easy to write for one ownself but you have really crafted it beautifully, every word is just not a word, taken if as a concept, lot caan be changed in either ways...

    do visit if time permits

  27. @Bhargav:Wow I'm so happy you liked it.

  28. Happy Belated B'day :)

    By the way, here is my IndiVine post. Check it and if you like it then please Promote it too there on IndiVine.

    Thanks :)