Wait Wait.Did you read the part I ? Yes,then continue.Else,here it is.
My eyes pop out. I blurt.” Do you show ads of investment banking up there as well?”
"No. But we do outsource the terms and conditions and other legalities to Hell. They have most of the excellent bankers there."
“The terms and conditions are very simple. We have decided to be a little careful on stuff like these. A lot many boon-givers have ended in trouble. You give a mortal a boon and for all you know the next minute they’ll come with a battalion to take over heaven. Then I have to go and personally beg to the ‘Holy Trinity’ to fix the mess up.” He explained.
“Rule #1: You cannot cause harm to anyone. Mortal or Immortal.Fatal, serious or otherwise.” He declared.
(Damn! My ex-lovers just escaped. All the plans of revenge I made in the last ten minutes are sloshed)
“Honey, is there a problem or can I read Rule #2?” I thought I saw concern in his deep blue eyes.
“Don’t ‘honey’ me. It doesn’t matter. How many more these stupid rules do you have?” the disappointed me asked.
“Oh! Just four more rules and you are ready to go.” He checked his iPhone look-alike instrument and confirmed.
“Rule # 2: You cannot ask for extension of life or anything that relates to postponing death.” He added gravely,” See, God doesn’t control the ministry of “Death and Affairs of Hell”. It is run by an independent guy who does not like recommendations. And trust me you don’t want to question a man who rides a buffalo and calls himself Dharma Raj, not even when you are God.
“Rule # 3: You cannot ask for physical movement of any matter.’ Bring Alps to middle of Singapore’ or ‘Bring me the crown of Queen of England’. Honestly, if you ask me, such requests are absurd.”
“Rule # 4: Don’t bother to ask for changing emotions.” Archangel looked up,” It’s so melodramatic if you ask me. Oh God! Let there be peace! Mortals I tell you.Heehehhehooohooo.”
[heehaahoo continued for sometime. I did feel like pulling his white beard real hard. I did not find anything funny about asking for world peace. Did you?]
He said wiping imaginary tears,” If God wanted peace he would have it on earth no matter how many crank pots are here. It’s a bigger conspiracy. I shan’t tell you what it is. It has something to do with divine retribution.”
“The last and final Rule #5: The God’s decision is final and no correspondence will be entered into.” He looks up at me,” Am I clear young lady? And please use your wishes wisely.”
And just like that he was gone.” Whatever” I murmured to self and pulled the blanket over me.