Monday, January 30, 2012

Confessions Of A First Bencher.. [Repost]

[This is a repost. This also happens to be one of my favorite posts. When Atrocious Scribblings suggested I do a repost, I did not think twice. So here is the post for a re-read]

Back Bencher Consortium(C):Now Now…What would a First Bencher (read the geek, nerd, book worm...) have to confess? We have all read the chronicles from Last Benchers...
And My My they are very interesting. But then if you ask my opinion first benchers are a bunch of bumble bees who just sit around so that the professors don't feel bad..
They just sit and sit and sit, eyes wide open, nodding there heads as if they understood every single word said and is blessed by the newly acquired knowledge. Worse? They ask questions. Not that we mortals are attentive to lectures( we are away, far far away dreaming and catching up some sleep after the late night movie marathons...)..You do not get a word of what they are talking about (you feel you were just teleported to classroom just this second) and they have inevitable spoiled a good day's slumber...
Despicable creatures!!!

ME (Representative, World First Benchers Welfare Organisation. WF(W)O):
Whoah!!!So many allegations. Such a personal attack on a community which never bothered to compete for the much sought student territory of back seats?? Now the time has come for the truth, the revelation. Time to cleanse us of the malicious charges.
Let me confess. I am a frontbencher (Oh!The despicable me!). Yes. Someone who always sat right in the front of any class attended. But not even for once be beguiled by my intentions and my poker straight face. See it was never a choice and allow me to explain.

1. I am short. Which means some times I cannot even see the tutor let alone check which direction the tutor is looking before I can attempt any of my not-so-authorized-activities in the class.

2. And more than often tutors tend to concentrate on the backbenchers than us the "poor-nerds"...Or may be not. But being in first bench gives us the unique vantage point for the tutors movement allowing us better opportunities to fun..

3. Once when I was very late to class, I happened to get the last but one bench...After the class I had a handful of tiny paper balls on my pony tail and two miniature paper rockets. I was the butt of the joke that day for the Backbenchers. I heard one of them had applied for NASA...I'm pretty sure he'll get through from the preciseness of the rocket launching he had done the other day...

4. Again couple of times when I landed up in the last seat. I smiled at the prospect with a wickedness that matched Tom's(from Tom and Jerry)..But on each occasion I was hauled right on the stage near the board to solve difficult problems; right in front of the class...These evil things happen only when I sit at the back bench.

Oh ya call me superstitious !!!

5. And Hello non-front bencher!!! We are not nodding our heads in acknowledgement with the tutor we are dozing off. Remember I was the one next to you when you screamed your lungs out after watching Tom Cruise in that entry shot of Vanilla Sky, You Moron!!!..And Talk about screaming at 3 am in the morning!!!

6. And that look of bliss, that one comes when you successfully stifle a yawn. And when we actually miss stifling we drop our pens rather unobtrusively. Bend down,yawn,pick up the pen and sit up. Come on,After all we have a
reputation to maintain..

7. Sorry about disturbing you with the questions. Most of them even we don't know what we are asking...When someone jostles us from sleep(Oh Yes !You. You back bencher, by passing notes or creaking the furniture or by chatter and giggles.), it's our reflex action to create a question from the last technical term that pops up in the subconscious...
eg: Madam,Do you think the electrical energy in the motor can be harnessed in a more efficient way by working on the coefficient of friction in the windings??
See it made sense to no one in particular...

8. Most importantly if you are actually in the mood to study(read the day after new year/resolution),there is nothing to come between you and the educational system. Not even the rustic benches and desks...

Back Benchers we are sorry for keeping you all in the dark. We are just like you...Around to have fun, make friends and in process learn [enough to land up a job with plush salary..]..We are not really no-fun people..
We are just into an unconventional way of having fun sitting right under the nose of the teacher..

P:S: NOM to any of my teachers. I believe in holistic education. More than what the text books can teach or one can cram up to clear the papers..


  1. I used to be a first bencher.Then with time I moved to be the last bencher. But now I know the middle benchers are the luckiest! :D

  2. That was quite an enlightenment to someone who remained a front-bencher himself for the better part of his life! However, I do agree with the premise that teachers tend to focus more on the back-benchers, always suspecting foul play. In fact, wickeder the teacher, fiercer the vigil! And you are damn right, there: we were as human as the denizens downstream!

    1. Hola fellow front-bencher!No on seems to notice that we are also fun loving folks..So had to throw so light...

  3. This post was awesome...being afront-bencher, i used to draw cartoons or sketches in my notebooks and sometimes we used to play tic tac toe sitting in the first bench, infront of our teachers pretending that we r making some running notes lol :P...Thankyou for this post,which brought back my gleeful yet wonderful memories. :)

    1. Hahaha..My dad used to do this...Good to know it brought back good memories to you...